Jill Wagner: Thank You Lord

Some days, work is great. Other days, it's "EFFIN' GREAT!" Yesterday was one of those days, as I had the pleasure of quizzing Jill Wagner from Wipeout, Splinter and those Mercury car commercials. I proposed, and she accepted. Then I woke up and drank more NyQuil, only to get back to my sweet Jill.

Alright, serious goggles on: Jill was very sweet and one of the more fun interviews I've had the privledge of conducting on Attack of the Show in recent history. I love it when guests are open and genuinely excited to chat on uncomfortable metal stools during live television. So if you get the chance, why don't you go see Splinter and support Ms. Wagner? I'm going to.

Chocolate Mustache

Well... That Happened.

Drinking The McDonald's Dollar Menu

Yes. I Mcgret This McKakke.

Hey, Olivia? Why Do You Make Me Hurt You?

Dear Olivia Munn. Hi. You may know me from such hit television shows as, Attack of the Show... and, Arena? Look, whatever, I'm kind of a big deal. Just take my word for it. Or Google it. Here's the point: You posted a cute little blog update which featured my amazing man-ass, uncredited mind you, and are reaping the sweet fruity nectar from the Adsense vine thanks too said badonkadonk. You haven't offered a cent of residuals, you haven't referred a single hit; you've done nothing but PROFIT from my many years of Winsor Pilates and Jamba Juice Razzmatazz lunches (with added burner boost of course). ENOUGH.

NOW THIS IS HAPPENING:

There! Are you happy? I know I am. Here's to having an honest post on the internet that can properly be tagged with, "Olivia Munn, Blowjob, Simulated Oral Sex, etc." I hate that it has come to this, but for what it's worth, I also tagged this post with "ANGRY DRAGON", so the world knows exactly how this tale ended. Thanks for the hits!

See you tomorrow princess. Xoxo.

Love, me.

Japanese Photo Booth Fun!

Olivia and I don't even need to go into a Japanese photo booth to have a good time. It's just what we do:

We actually did go inside, in case you're wondering, and some amazing television was made. You'll all see it in November, and I promise, it's epic.

So sore. Sumo sore...

Here's to a waist of bruises and losing half the skin off my big toe:

Click to read more ...

Taxidermy Olympics

We thought for sure that the goat's head was going to pop off like a grape; in shows past it has done just that, and completely unprompted. So imagine our surprise when Rodger the High Diving Goat took a nasty spill end ended up breaking his pelvis instead.

Goats do have a pelvis. Right?

Payback is a *pop*!

Olivia is spouting off about me being in on the whole hair trimming incident, which technically I was, as we discussed the bit during a commercial break before everything went down. However, what she's NOT telling everyone is that we agreed she would only trim "a bit" off the top. Said bit was being defined at that moment by my thumb and forefinger, separated half an inch or so. The rest, including today's epic payback, is history:

I've got to give the girl credit; she hung in there, was a great sport, and helped create an amazing moment. Not just for me, or the viewers, but for all the globophobes out there as well. Hooray.